Kurt's reasons that Santa Claus is definitely a guy.  

He's got massive amounts of facial hair.  
'Nuff said.  
(And I don't wish to hear about your Aunt Fannie 
who's got a beard and moustache.  
One word: epilator.)  

His sleigh is a classic model drop-top convertible.  
Women would complain about the safety and cold air, 
not understanding that some things just can't be compromised.  

He goes up and down chimneys carrying that big, heavy sack 
all by himself.  

He lives in the North Pole, 
where there's nobody to bother him 
so he can get his work done.  
A woman would most likely want to relocate 
to someplace where there's neighbors and social clubs.  

He encourages the kids to leave cookies and milk for him.  
Women would probably ask for salad or diet Coke.  

Between all those glasses of milk, 
and all those homes he's got to hit, 
if Santa had to take constant trips to the potty, 
he wouldn't get the gifts delivered until Easter.  

If the night of December 24th happened to fall 
on "that time of month", 
Christmas would be as good as ruined for all the kids.  

--Written by Kurt Nordstrom, BCS, TX, all rights reserved.